In the first few weeks of pregnancy I was in shock, excited, and looking forward to the following months.
Once I started to feel the baby, the fact that I was about to become a mother was even more real and more exciting. At this stage the evening sickness had passed, I could tell the world how happy I was, my hair looked amazing, and I could start making plans for my new life.
I had it all planned, I went to all my antenatal classes, I had a birth plan, I even made my hospital bag when I was 30 weeks pregnant in case the baby came early. I had read all the books, I knew what I needed to do to make sure that the baby slept all through the night, to make sure that she wouldn’t get in to bad habits, to make sure that I was the perfect mum. I have always been a planner, and this experience was not different, everything was planned. So what could go wrong!!!
Well for starters I was about to learn that not everything can be planned. That babies are not dogs and they can’t be trained. I was about to learn that my life was going to be easier if I could go with the flow.
When I was 39 weeks pregnant my gorgeous little lady, Indigo, was born. My labour went on for about 65 hours. In my birth plan, I was explicit that I did not want any drugs, it was all going to be natural. By the 59th hour I was shouting for an epidural, I was tired and ready for a break. In my birth plan I was going to use the birth pool. I romanticised of having my baby in the water, looking amazing and with a big smile on my face. During the birth day the bath tab was not available, so I had to use the shower, I hadn’t brushed my hair for days so I had an affro, and the evil within me was out of the bag.
My plan was to get the baby on the breast within the first 30 min to 1 hour of giving birth. However, Indi was born with some breathing difficulties, so she was taken to NICU. It wasn’t until she was about 12 hours old that I could put her on the breast, delaying my milk supply. In my plan I was going to solely breastfeed until she was 1 year old, but that didn’t work as plan either. By the time she was 3 days old I was having to mix feed, and by the time she was 4 months old she was solely bottle fed.
In my plan I was going to do loads of knitting while the baby slept. I was going to learned to cook. And the house was always going to be cleaned. I was going to become the perfect wife. In reality I had no time for knitting, cooking or cleaning, and I was constantly grumpy and tired.
Parenting is hard so why make it harder by trying to force a plan? No, I learned my lesson, go with the flow if you don’t want to loose your hair or be disappointed. In parenting, the best plan is not to have a plan!
have fun not planning xx