Mummy Winter

A blog for all mothers

The Best Plan, Is Not To Plan!

In the first few weeks of pregnancy I was in shock, excited, and looking forward to the following months.

Once I started to feel the baby, the fact that I was about to become a mother was even more real and more exciting. At this stage the evening sickness had passed, I could tell the world how happy I was, my hair looked amazing, and I could start making plans for my new life.

I had it all planned, I went to all my antenatal classes, I had a birth plan, I even made my hospital bag when I was 30 weeks pregnant in case the baby came early. I had read all the books, I knew what I needed to do to make sure that the baby slept all through the night, to make sure that she wouldn’t get in to bad habits, to make sure that I was the perfect mum. I have always been a planner, and this experience was not different, everything was planned. So what could go wrong!!!

Well for starters I was about to learn that not everything can be planned. That babies are not dogs and they can’t be trained. I was about to learn that my life was going to be easier if I could go with the flow.

When I was 39 weeks pregnant my gorgeous little lady, Indigo, was born. My labour went on for about 65 hours. In my birth plan, I was explicit that I did not want any drugs, it was all going to be natural. By the 59th hour I was shouting for an epidural, I was tired and ready for a break. In my birth plan I was going to use the birth pool. I romanticised of having my baby in the water, looking amazing and with a big smile on my face. During the birth day the bath tab was not available, so I had to use the shower, I hadn’t brushed my hair for days so I had an affro, and the evil within me was out of the bag.

My plan was to get the baby on the breast within the first 30 min to 1 hour of giving birth. However, Indi was born with some breathing difficulties, so she was taken to NICU. It wasn’t until she was about 12 hours old that I could put her on the breast, delaying my milk supply. In my plan I was going to solely breastfeed until she was 1 year old, but that didn’t work as plan either. By the time she was 3 days old I was having to mix feed, and by the time she was 4 months old she was solely bottle fed.

In my plan I was going to do loads of knitting while the baby slept. I was going to learned to cook. And the house was always going to be cleaned. I was going to become the perfect wife. In reality I had no time for knitting, cooking or cleaning, and I was constantly grumpy and tired.

Parenting is hard so why make it harder by trying to force a plan? No, I learned my lesson, go with the flow if you don’t want to loose your hair or be disappointed. In parenting, the best plan is not to have a plan!

have fun not planning xx



2 Comment

  1. Totally agree with this I planned a drug free birth and things went down hill both during and post birth. Love this article and great advice for any mums to be

    Love your photo you look radiant !!

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